Saturday, June 16, 2012

Don't Holding Too Much


Jangan Genggam Terlalu Erat...

Belakangan ini, lagi mengalami banget yang namanya "menggenggam terlalu erat" sampe akhirnya malah justru hilang.. sama seperti pasir yang digenggam di tangan; semakin digenggam, semakin banyak pasir yang keluar... gua terlalu menggenggam apa yang gua punya dan gua anggep berharga, rasanya bener-bener ngga mau kehilangan, ngga bisa hidup tanpa apa yang gua suka n' sayang banget.. sampe di 1 titik, mendekati ultah gua kemarin, Tuhan ambil 1-1nya hal yang gua anggep paling berharga, yang terus berusaha gua jaga selama ini.. agak susah dideskripsiinnya, tapi yg jelas, Tuhan ambil itu dalam sehari, Minggu, 10 Juni 2012. 
Kehilangan? sangat! speechless, ngga bisa ngomong apa-apa lagi, bener-bener kecewa, marah banget sama Papa. Cuma bisa bertanya-tanya dan ngga dapet jawaban apa-apa. gua udah berusaha cari Dia, cari jawaban atas semua ini dan gua ngga nemuin. it feels like, Tuhan ngga ada dan ngga denger gua. 

Dengan begitu childishnya, gua marah, ngambek, sampe ngga mau cari Dia lagi. gua ngga baca firman sampe 3 hari, langsung kendorin nilai-nilai yang gua pegang, karena gua begitu ngambek sama Dia. Childish banget ya... sama sekali ngga dewasa -____-|| NAH, sampe ulang tahun gua pun kemarin 14 Juni, itu bener-bener the 2nd worst bday dalam hidup gua (yg pertama itu beberapa tahun lalu dalam suatu case:p). waktu dateng ke sekolah, diteriakin di ceng-cengin, gua cuma bisa lemes dan berusaha keliatan seneng, padahal gua takut kalo lebih banyak lagi yang Tuhan ambil. Takut banget. sampe gua cuma bisa nangis-nangis, stress karena ketakutan gua...

Sabtu kemarin, mungkin jadi titik terakhir ketakutan gua wkwkwk.. 
jadi ceritanya, gua ceritain semuanya, keluarin unek-unek gua sama ko Salim, salah 1 mentor gua.. dan waktu dia dengerin cerita gua, dia cuma bilang, "Ve, jangan genggam terlalu erat.. semua milik Tuhan, semua bakalan hilang.. kita ngga punya hak buat pertahanin itu... kalo Tuhan mau ambil ato ngga, terserah Dia, toh Dia akan pakai itu buat kemuliaan.. kalo seandainya yang kamu pegang itu yg mendatangkan kemuliaan, mau gimana lagi?" dan rasanya itu menancap di hati terdalam. bener banget, Pa. Bener banget. selama ini gua terlalu menggenggam erat semuanya, padahal semua punya Tuhan dan gua ngga punya hak buat pertahanin itu..


Perkataan Ko Salim bener-bener makin diteguhkan sama ayat ini... dan bikin gua belajar NGERTI maunya Tuhan tuh apa, isi hatiNya Tuhan tuh apa dalam hidup gua.. kalo gua seringkali bilang "i wanna be everything He created me to be..." tapi waktu Tuhan ambil bagian hidup gua, gua ngambek, itumah sama aja omong kosong... Manusia itu sama seperti rumput bunga, semua akan berlalu, termasuk yang indah-indah, dan kalo semua udah ilang, cuma Firman yang akan tinggal tetap... Karena itulah, jangan genggam terlalu erat apa yang kita punya. semua milik Tuhan. Meanwhile, GENGGAM ERAT FIRMAN TUHAN dan PRIBADI TUHAN SENDIRI. karena cuma itu yang ngga bakal ilang dan akan terus jadi kekuatan, bahkan sukacita kita, ketika semuanya udah hilang...

Percaya sama Firman, kalo Dia bilang semua akan mendatangkan kebaikan dan kemuliaan, even dengan cara-cara yang unbelievable dan ngga enak, nyakitin... but JUST BELIEVE.Tuhan cuma mau kita PERCAYA sama Dia. udah, selesai. percaya aja dan tunggu kemuliaan, nantiin janji-janjiNya digenapin :')


"All is ok, Dad. I may lost everything, but I still had You..."

Friday, June 8, 2012

Let Go..





To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn’t winning, and it isn’t losing. It’s not about pride, and it’s not about how you appear, and it’s not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It’s not giving in or giving up. Letting go isn’t about loss and it’s not defeat. To let go is to cherish memories, and overcome and move on. It’s having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting. It’s learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It’s about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon again. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It’s realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path, and to set you free.. -viatumblr


IF IT HURTS YOU, LEARN TO LET GO AND LET GOD.



"Dear God. I'm done for my own. Now it's the time for moving on, and letting go my ALL to You. I give up. I give in. I let go. Let's begin.. cause no matter what i do, You got me,  perfectly♥"

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

God's LOVE MESSAGES

“One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek Him in his temple.” -Psalm 27:4


“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” -Psalm 46:10


"Evelyn, you were not a mistake, for all your days are written in My book. And yes, you're BEAUTIFUL, for you are fearfully and wonderfully made..."





Psalm 139

The Message (MSG)
A David Psalm
 1-6 God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand.
   I'm an open book to you;
      even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking.
   You know when I leave and when I get back;
      I'm never out of your sight.
   You know everything I'm going to say
      before I start the first sentence.
   I look behind me and you're there,
      then up ahead and you're there, too—
      your reassuring presence, coming and going.
   This is too much, too wonderful—
      I can't take it all in!

 
7-12 Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
      to be out of your sight?
   If I climb to the sky, you're there!
      If I go underground, you're there!
   If I flew on morning's wings
      to the far western horizon,
   You'd find me in a minute—
      you're already there waiting!
   Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
      At night I'm immersed in the light!"
   It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you;
      night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you.

 
13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
      you formed me in my mother's womb.
   I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
      Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
      I worship in adoration—what a creation!
   You know me inside and out,
      you know every bone in my body;
   You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
      how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
   Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
      all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
   The days of my life all prepared
      before I'd even lived one day.

 
17-22 Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful!
      God, I'll never comprehend them!
   I couldn't even begin to count them—
      any more than I could count the sand of the sea.
   Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you!
      And please, God, do away with wickedness for good!
   And you murderers—out of here!—
      all the men and women who belittle you, God,
      infatuated with cheap god-imitations.
   See how I hate those who hate you, God,
      see how I loathe all this godless arrogance;
   I hate it with pure, unadulterated hatred.
      Your enemies are my enemies!

 
23-24 Investigate my life, O God,
      find out everything about me;
   Cross-examine and test me,
      get a clear picture of what I'm about;
   See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong—
      then guide me on the road to eternal life.


IN WONDERFULLY MAKING, THEN I'M REFLECTING HIM!


"You were made by God and for God, and until you understand that, life will never make sense"